The Curse of Cooper
by DramaticStarlet
Summary: I'm jealous of Chad Dylan Cooper, I don't look like Nick Jonas, and my little brother is watching Makeout Junction. Joy. NateCaitlyn.


**The Curse of Cooper  
**nate/caitlyn

by kathryn

originally, this was called "jake ryan sings" and was a niley fic. :-/ unfortunately, fanfiction deleted it a few months ago, along with two other fics of mine.

so i decided that i wanted to edit this story and turn it into something halfway decent that you might laugh at. (: this version is different from JRS, because nate is less random. haha.

and TWO STORIES IN ONE DAY!! WOOT!!

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**10:40 PM**

Dear Diary,

Diary sounds so dumb. You should man up or something. How about Journal? But you're a book, and books don't have feelings, so why should you even care what I call you?

I'm your owner, and I say your name is...uh. Dirnal? Which is a combination of Journal and Diary. Yeah, I'm a genius. I know. Or sungei. Get it, sungei? It's an anagram of genius.

Okay, enough with the random. I have more serious issues to get down to.

I'm...call me Etan. I'm not sure how you would say that, but it's another anagram for my actual name, which I'm not sure I'm man enough to admit, because I'm writing in a diary, and if you haven't noticed already, guys don't write in diaries/journals/dirnals.

Seriously, enough of this pointless side conversation. I'm having

Chad Dylan Cooper sings. Did you know that? The freaking lame ass middle name using pansy sings. My girlfriend's ex-boyfriend is Chad Dylan Cooper. Chad StupidAssMiddleName Cooper is one of those awful heart throbs that girls scream for and cry "Oh CDC, please pick me to be another one of the girls you use and abuse for sexual purposes oh please oh please!!11!!111"

...alright, I'm technically one of those stupid heart throbs, but for the sake of my sanity and this journal entry, bear with me. Not that I use and abuse girls in exchange for sexual favors. Not that I know what a sexual favor entails.

I had only one thing on Chad Dylan Cooper, and that is that I just happen to be a musician.

And then my girlfriend...let's call her Naictly (another anagram...I love those things) tells me Chad Dylan Cooper is putting out an album.

So now I have nothing to one-up Chad Dylan Cooper with.

And my girlfriend will most likely dump me for Chad (do you add a Dylan to that?), and I'll end up a sadly pathetic shadow of my former self.

I mean, I'm only 16, but again, bear with me. I'm feeling tired and lethargic (never mind that they mean the same thing) and sort of creeped out because I swore to myself that I'd never write in a _diary _much less a _dirnal_.

My brothers would torture me for the rest of my life if they found out I'm writing in you.

Especially since you are a pink, girly diary thing that says _Mitchie Torres _on the front.

Alright, to be quite honest, you (you? I'm talking as if you're ACTUALLY a person/living creature...I need sleep) aren't technically my diary. You are a sheet of pink stationary in my brother's girlfriend's planner.

Not the point, though.

I'm putting you/it/whatever away.

Goodnight and good riddance.

**10:50 PM**

Dear Pink-POS-that-belongs-to-my-brother's-girlfriend-whose-name-is-Mitchie-Torres,

Alright, what the hell. I look over at you, this POS planner and I'm like, "What the hell, Nate, why NOT write down crap? It's not like any

Uh. No. My name is not Nate. Jeez. Silly.

I'm overtired.

That's it.

All this touring.

Makes me tired.

Which leads to me hallucinating.

Exactly.

See, there's a perfect logical explanation for everything.

I think I hear someone legitimately calling my name...

**10:56 PM**

I heard Chad Dylan Cooper song on the radio. I heard it. My brother told me to come listen to it, and I did, and now I _know _that Caitlyn – scratch that, Naictly? – is going to dump me.

Chad Dylan Cooper could take over for me as the third member of Connect Three – I mean, the Jonas Brothers?

You know what? Screw this incognito crap, I could care less if Jason and Shane read this.

Yeah, MY NAME IS NATE GRAY and MY GIRLFRIEND'S NAME IS CAITLYN, and I'm in CONNECT THREE and I'm NOT NICK JONAS. Happy? Damn.

Anyway.

Chad Dylan Cooper could take over me as the third connection in Connect Three (wow that was a bad joke). I'm not kidding, he's a good singer.

Or maybe he could take over for Jason. We don't really need Jason anyway, do we? He doesn't sing or anything and

What am I saying? Jason is like...my brother. Wow, Nate. You're an idiot.

Changing the subject.

Tarzan backwards is Nazrat.

How do I know this? Ella, a freakishly random girl I had the (MIS)fortune of meeting told me. She said she found it out from "Lizzie McGuire."

I proceeded to tell her that I don't watch "Lizzie McGuire," although Shane used to think Hilary Duff was super hot.

She yelled at me, and said that I had the same hair as a guy named Gordo on that show.

I looked up the guy named Gordo.

My hair rocks so much harder than his.

No, I'm kidding.

That was a joke.

Gordo can't rock the fro like me.

Sleep sounds nice.

Goodnight and goodbye (again).

**11:10 PM**

Isn't "Goodnight & Goodbye" a Jonas Brothers song?

Why do I know this?

Do I really resemble Nick Jonas?

**11:15** **PM**

Do you think Caitlyn would actually dump me for Chad (name addendum: Dylan)?

**11:17 PM**

It would suck if she did.

**11:30 PM**

I called Caitlyn. She said she would never dump me for Chad. Which is good. Maybe I can finally go to sleep or something.

Or something being my first choice.

I wonder what "or something" entails. I just asked my little brother (who is still up for some unfathomable reason, even though he's only 8).

Ike (said brother) thinks "or something" means watching the Mackenzie Falls movie with him. Chad Dylan Cooper is in the Mackenzie Falls movie.

First of all, WHY is my 8-year-old brother watching Mackenzie Falls? They should rename that show Makeout Junction or something.

Second of all, I'm taking up acting.

So yeah. Chad YourMiddleNameSucksGoKillYourself Cooper.

Ha.

Ah.

Haha.

Ahah.

Spelling things backwards is fun.

Gnilleps sgniht sdrawkcab si nuf.

Enough. I'm officially going to bed.

-Nate

**11:45 PM**

Bed backwards spells Deb.

-

wowwwww this is wayyyy more random than i remember it being. haha, anyways. review plez? :D

**and if you do review, please review with more than "i loved it" or "so funny" or whatever. :) thanks.**


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